One Way Relationships...What End Are You On?

by Laura Thompson

I have been examining relationships lately...friendships, family, intimate, business, just all relationships that I have found myself associated with or involved in.  I have also observed relationships that others are involved in and in the process of getting involved in.

Some people want to be in complete control of the relationship.  They want almost everything to go their way and want others to act in accordance to their wants and needs.  Then there are others who want to please everyone.  They want everyone to like them and will do anything to gain their friendship or love.  Both of these types of relationships are very unhealthy because there is no balance.

Healthy relationships are give and take.  It's allowing others to be themselves, accepting the opinions of others, celebrating their differences and helping each other to grow.

Relationships that always require you to give with nothing in return are very toxic.  It leaves the giver feeling unloved, unappreciated and with very low self esteem.  It leaves the giver burnt out and feeling foolish, yet the giver continues to give in hopes that one day the receiver will love and appreciate them for all they have done.  The problem with a giver that is trying to buy love, a lot of times ends up alone when they need help from those  they have so foolishly served.  People will always treat you the way you train them.

Some people are bullies in relationships.  They use force to make people do what they would like them to do or make them act the way they want them to act.  These types are often hard to love and scare people they are in relationships with to the point that they run people away.

Some people are manipulators and it's very hard to tell, at first, if they are sincere friends.  If you fall in love with them, it's really hard to get out of the relationship because your judgement can be skewed by their trickery.

Relationships come in all forms.  It can be difficult to let go of toxic relationships.  It is difficult to change the behavior of others, but you can change your own behavior.  If you are the recipient of bullying, controlling people, or people that are not available for your needs, when you have been there for them...you must find a way to leave those toxic relationships or retrain people to treat you with dignity and respect.

The first step starts with you...change your behavior and change the outcome of how you're treated.  If you don't put your foot down...you will be taken advantage of by family, friends and in your intimate relationships.